vice versa

(→_→)
finally i knew why i liked her..
her stunning eyes..
and her mesmerizing smile..

liking is easy..
but..
to be liking isn't..

the way you acted to me made me want to back off..
and i did back off..
most of the times..
even if deep inside me said 'no'..
i just acted the way that i didn't want..

i always wanted to hold you..
but the words just stuck in my throat..
i could not push you to like me..
coz that will make you uncomfortable in the other way..
why it always..

vice versa..

how did it feel like huh??

it's already been almost 11 years...
time flies so fast..
from a boy to an adult..
until i'm not clearly know the meaning..
of to be loved by my own parent..
how did it feel like huh??

love from nenek, aunties, uncles and big family are way different..
coz i respect the love as a big family..
I accept the love respectively..coz they sincere to do so..
but from my past mom and dad..
i didn't remember how did it feel..

just wondering, how my parent would celebrate my big exam results like UPSR, PMR, SPM
and now will be graduating soon..
will they crying?? hug me tightly?? smile widely??
wish any inspiring words??
buy me dinner or what??
curiosity kills me..

still remember..
abah used to buy me new racket, racing control car and soccer boot after i scored well in my final exam..
abah used to buy us dinner outside when all his kids did a good job..
mak used to hug us and gave kiss to all her kids..
and mak would cook us special food for that too..

when Along studied in SDAR in his form one..
Abah and Mak once brought all of us to pizza hut..
pizza hut was expensive at that time..especially to us..budak felda..
even to get KFC was also hard..
their salaries are not that big..coz both of them preferred to save more that spend more..
their treat still way different..coz there were sweet memories there..

after they passed away,
i can say that until now on i haven't been celebrated my birthday properly..
no one remembers except my siblings..
five years in SDAR..
1 and half years in KBU..
and 4 years in Melbourne..
no one remembers..
coz my birthday is too early in the calendar year..
just help preparing my friends birthday all the times..
besides, my siblings are not together for the whole time..
we spend time far away from each other after my parent passed away..
and now there is no need to celebrate my birthday anymore..
coz i dont feel it.. to be celebrated..

during my childhood time, abah and mak would buy me or do anything to celebrate my birthday..
there would be a cake..gifts..and delicious food..
close neighbours were invited too..hilarious party..
there was a time when it supposed to be me cut my cake..
but kakak cried loudly to cut first..her desired to cut was way too high..
even it was not her birthday yet.. lol..
she was so cute at that time with the cone hat..
that was my last birthday party i think.. when I was 11 years old..

so..still wonder..how are they going to appreciate me now if both mak and abah still alive??
miss them so much..
May Allah bless them in the world hereafter..

it's lonely...

lately...i'm lonely..lolz..
what I meant is tinggal keseorangan dalam rumah ni..
coz both of my housemates go for a work..
pegi pagi balik malam..
so everyone tau yang ak kene tinggal kat rumah..
haha...
when I got nothing to do.. no one to text.. no drama to watch..
I just listen to musics and watch youtube..

lately, selalu dengar Hot FM online..
bile denga panggilan hangit tu...nak gelak pon xsampai hati..
sebab jahat sangat..xbaek buat orang aman, jadi gadoh tau..isk2..
xpatot2..nak melawak pon bertempat la jugak..
from there I got attached with few current favourite malay songs..
what i like to listen till now on are:

Masih aku cinta - Shila Amzah
Sandiwara cinta - Republik
Ku akui - Hafiz
Bahagiamu Deritaku - Hafiz
Takkan terpisah - Black
Hanya aku - Hyper Act
Kau pergi jua - IamNeeta ft Najwa latif

bile pikir balik, kenape lagu ni sume lagu sedih..
and kenape org (aku pon kdg2) suke denga lagu sedih2 ni..
layan jiwang sangat2..
lagu sume stok yang lepaskan kekasih..bakal melepaskan..ditinggalkan..teringat la..
lagu2 ni buat aku rase lagi lonely lagi ade laa..sebab ditinggalkan..huhu..
owhhh..aku pulak yang berperasaan..susah betol..nnt mcam2 ak pikir..isk2..
nnt kene carik lagu yang bagi semangat untuk meneruskan percintaan ke..huhu..
sengal..

*have to find interesting things to do in my empty days..otoke?? (version korea)..
dousyioukanaaaaa?? ( version jepon sambil duduk tepi tingkap pandang langit)..

ikot alur air...

baru je call nenek td..
ade mak lang skali...
aku kalau call mesti gelak keh keh keh keh ngan nenek..
padahal nak mintak enek doa esok exam..
ntah camane terbukak cte pasal kawen ni bagai..
al maklumlah cik mun2 si cousin aku tu nak kawen hujung minggu ni..
tanye la nenek.. "turn sape pas ni?"..
nenek jawab.. "haha mane tau kau punye turn pulak"
gulp..heee.."ape la nenek ni?? ramai lagi kottt"

pastu nenek pas fon kat mak lang..
"haih...seronok ko gelak mengekek kan bangahh..mentang2 nak abes"..
ak sambung gelak je laaa..pastu cakap pas ni keje kumpul duet..
"haaaa..elok la tu..kumpul duet tu banyak2..pas ni turn kau la plak kawennn.."
bersungguh mak lang kenekan aku...
pastu aku jawab.. "heeee..kalau ade jodoh..In Shaa Allah..tengah kumpul duet la ni mak lang..banyak2"
sambung gelak kekekeke...
mak lang sambung.. "org kate ikot alur air.. sampai la masenye nnt tu..kumpul duet banyak2 tau"..
hahaha.. "ape laa mak lang nii!!! tibe2 plak pressure ni, maklang"...gelak kekeke ak lagi skali..

*dulu enek ngn mak lang tengok kitorang kecik2 maen kejar ramai2 kat depan rumah..skang ni turn diorang nak lepaskan sorang2 anak kecik diorang hidup independent plak dan berumahtangga.. mesti happy kann?? life goes on and it will not go back around..

last exam for my degree course..ngeee

waaaa...xsangke..
esok last amek exam untuk course undergaduate ni...
moga2 semuanya dipermudahkan..
takowttt..huhu..

In Shaa Allah.. may Allah bless me..amin..

*nak call nenek laaa..huhu

SDARians and the cheers!!!

"Lions in the field
Laaaaaa la la la la
Lions in the field
Laaaaaa la la la la
Looks like super star!!! "

"Lai chi kang
semangkuk dua kupang
hari sudah petang
kita mesti menang!!"

"Eeee re sa te reeee
Masu wa su wassaaa
ki ci ki ci tong gaaa
weeeii wa weiiiiii wa weiii wa weii wa waaaaa"

these are some of the Sdarians cheer songs..
we called em cheers!!
and we have "budak cheer"..commonly fivers and the beloved form one juniors..
one of the rules there is to learn cheers..and to cheer our Lions..
our beloved rugby team..
coz that's our pride...
we have a cheer training class too..
usually weekend..
there is a step stages under the library facing the field..
I forgot what we called that place..that's where we train our cheer songs..
when Lions play in the field, in big matches especially the seniors..
budak cheer wajib dtg.. especially in our pitch..

when I was the super junior..i did enjoy the cheers!!
adore when we screamed loud for the super seniors...
there were the stars in the pitch..our fivers were champions..
they always won..and they were the n9 and SBP south zone champions..
super amazed with them..
still remember when we cheered them on rainy day..that was hilarious memory..

and when I was the fivers and one of the Lions..
I knew how eager we were on the pitch...especially when the cheer boy just beside the field..
they came to cheer us in Kuala Pilah TMS and Zaaba (our main rivals) pitch on state level..
they cheered..they danced...
and we won..
we were the champion too..as our seniors..

one most awesome memory was when cheer boys coming for my Final Volleyball U18 N9 state level match 2007..
that was the second time SDAR in finals state level..first one was in 2006..
i dont remember the past history..what I know is SDAR never had the best volleyball team as in my era.
I made the team since form one..coz I was the captain..
and we were the N9 champions..
I beat my own N9 team when I was primary school.. that's the most memorable..
the best part was the budak cheer were very supportive for the final match..

they shouted our names..one by one..

"Boooo taaaaa in the court
Laaaaaaaa la la la laaa
Boooo taaaaa in the court
Laaaaaaaa la la la laaaa
Looks like superstar!!!!" - ^^

random rant

live well or live hell?

u choose

......................................................................

simple or difficult..

live ain't easy if u look in difficult way..

and live ain't difficult if u look in easy way..

.......................................................................

let's make a simple scenario

ur friendship is strong as it almost 6 years

suddenly ur bestfriend try to flirt the same girl as u aim / like for a long time

how do you react?

........................................................................

look masculine

but i prefer virile

.........................................................................

current world

it's not the truth that people will believe

it's only evidence to show the prove

.........................................................................

it's easier to make up stories than telling the truth