not in the line...

nowadays...
i have everything...
psp...laptop...wifi...phone...shoes...expensive shirts and more..
i'll get what i want...
but...
i think...bcoz of all these...
i can't perform well in my study..
i am not going to say that all these stuffs affect my study..
this is because of my own problem..
too addicted with the games..
so, spend much time to play games..
not for education anymore...
hmmm....
i am not like this before...
i know myself better...
10 years ago....
i lived in a harsh condition...
in a place called as felda..
i was not from a wealthy family...
just simple....
i still remember what my late mom advised to me..
'angah, life is a like a wheel, sometimes we'll be at the top and sometimes at the bottom, so u must work harder if u want to succeed in your life'
then i knew...actually...
my late dad was a math teacher and my mom was an english teacher...
i did well in math..
but...not in english...
i hated english...
but..i am trying to improve it...
in math...my dad was very strict and firm...
if he teach, he'll really teach you...
believe me...since 7 years old...my siblings already memorized 'sifir'
from 1 x 1 till 14 x 14....
every night we memorized it...
and my dad hold a very tiny rattan...
actually..the tiny one is the best strike if you get at your palm....
and my mom was also a good and firm one...
i did very bad for my english... i didn't know why...
haha...
my dad taught me to be independent..
and be a survivor...
he sent me to join camping since standard 2...
i joined 'pengakap' since that..
i went to jungle...
made some gadgets..tried to learn everything...
not depend to someone to get help...
that's why i can live on my own...
i don't have a 'homesick' feelin' such the other boys...
i know what should i do....
if got problems..i'll ask the expert...my nanny or my uncle...
i still remember one part in my life...
since young... i walked if i want to go anywhere...
my siblings and i would not go to school with my dad...
he sent my mom to another school and my younger bro to kindergarten..
so..we walked...
day and night...
that's why our relationship is good...
soemtimes..it was very frightened to walk in a terribly dark place...
we ran away..with full speed..haha...
at that time...
my late dad taught us to spend money everyday..
if you save 20 cents a day..you calculate it...times with 365 days...
u'll save rm 73..it was a lot to us...everyday...
we just got 50 cents for our break...and we brought food to school..
early in the morning..we wake up early..at 5.30 or 6 a.m...
i always helped out my mom to prepare our breakfast...
if i got time even 5 minutes...
i would read notes....
then we went to school at 6.50 a.m...by foot..
because of these situations...
it made me to be good..i slowly developed my determination and confident...
and..until one part of my life...
i felt like i lost everything....i missed 'em...mom, dad, bro and sis...
now...my life is getting better...
i get more and more things that i want...
i have money to buy this and that..
where it comes from..it doesn't matter..
as long as it's from halal source..it's okay...
and...buying all these things make me forget my root life...
my bringing...
i know....
it's fair enough...
if you poor, you will grateful with what you get..
if you rich, you forget the root...live in you life..
so am i...
i need to catch up the train...i also want to cross over the selat melaka...
i wanna further my study in aussie...
so...



i should be...

in the line......

~~peace~~

2....

all i know in my life is...
i love no 2...
dunno why..
may be bcoz of i am the second one in my siblings after my big bro...
hmmm...
2 is wonderful...
when i was in standard 5 and 6..
i played volleyball for my sk palong 4 school..
when i selected the jersey..i'll look at the number first...
and for sure.. the no 2 will be mine....no one dare to ask why..
it's mine...u know....
and i think... no 2 brings magic to me...
it's legendary...
i played and performed well..
managed to help my primary school won in the zon stage...
was given an important role and task to bring success...
one big moment was...
i admired this girl..ms A...she's looking good..i liked her smile...
she always smiled at me...she's one year older than me..
and both of us....
played volleyball....
same position....
and the unexpected thing was...
2 was our jersey number...
no 2... still stuck in my mind....
i'll remember this always...
we liked each other( i think la)...
but...
no dating, not much chatting,
only... flying letters...it's such an unforgettable memory...
haha....
later...i moved to kuala pilah..( standard 6- june)
i missed up everything.. no volley's friend.. no ms A anymore....
and i stopped playing volley for 1 year...
then...i entered sdar...my new life was there..
year before i studied in sdar..
i visited my big bro in sdar..he is a sdarian too...
what i said to him was...
'long, look at the volley court, i'll make sure if i enter this school, i'll make sdar be the first team in this state'...
haha..my journey started...
along the way.. many things happened...
for the first year...our coach was mr robin...
he's okay.. but, later..
we found out... we should train on our own..
and for sure..no 2 was mine....even i was the junior...
i am the legend..i knew what i do...
managed to win the district level first..but out at the state level...
2nd year... i chose only my batch to be my team members....
i trained them...
from the basic..till the expert one...hairi and paye also helped me out...
we learned to play like a professional team...
won distrisct level...state level..go back early...
3rd year..under 15..it's not a big problem to win the district level...
won easily..
and at the state level..managed to pass through the first round grouping..
for X and Y grouping..it's hard..
we met my former team, Gemas..
my old friends..haha...sdar lost..
but we wanted to revenge...
no 2 was there..not a big deal to win over 'em..
4th year...
combined with ttj coleq...
i got hisham..one of the best spiker in my state...
i knew his taste..wanted a very high ball....
we fought and fought.. we performed our best....
we got a very dedicated coach..
mr nizar...
and we only lost to PD...finale...
we were the best no 2 in the state..not the first one yet..
final year...
hisham was not there anymore...he already graduated..luckily...
my 2 friends played for negri last year..
they came back...
and i chose not to play volley anymore..
i got so many things to be responsible with...
my duty as a ehem2....
my school warning..no more than 1 sport can play..
so i chose rugby..
managed to win the MSSM...we were the champion..
then.. decided to relax...
but...
my volley team got probs...they didn't have a good combination of player..
some didn't want to follow the new leader's order..
and some refused to go for training....
i was shocked..
and my friends asked me to come back..i knew it was not good for me...
but as long as it's for sdar..
i helped them out..but.. my skills....diminished...
so..need to recall it back...
i joined the district level...but didn't play..just looked from the bench...
i had no confident in playing this game...
and my district coach fired me up...so,
what i said was...
'sir, i only need one week training..but i'll train on my way, believe me'
then....
after one week..
the tournament was open..
early in the morning..
i said to my friends..
'don't worry bro, we are gonna win this time, believe my luck, this is no 2.'
so....
hehe....i knew when should i use my trick..when should i set high , low or moderate...
only one week....
legend is still a legend..
but i am not gonna say i am legend...
with one team's effort...
we were the champion for that year...
fortunately,
our junior under 15 also won da title....
remains in my heart.....

2 is no where....
2 is the best.....
not 1 anymore....

still....

i know time is moving faster and faster....
it's gonna run out....
it's already april......
am i hepi??
or am i not???
i can't say our time is the same...
everybody gets 24 hours a day..
so am i...
then??
i dunno...
i already memorize my routine..everyday...
wake up...go to college...
go back to student house...take a break...
sleep for a while...
do some homeworks or assignment....
oh..it's time to work out...
go out for jogging or playing football...
sometimes....cooking....
then..bath...
internet and games..
do revision and sleep......
but i think....
this is quite bored...
i dunno....i should think some other style of living....
what should i do???
do i need to make some changes???
perhaps....i got so many things inside my mind...
but..its stuck there...
i do realise....
i should do something....
i must change my life...i am not like this before...
i was terribly talkative person..perhaps...
miss up all da things...ma,dad,bro and sis...
hope is always be a hope...
only this self can 'reach' it...
so...
i am working on it...
blurrrrr.....

and..

~still~


--------peace yeah------------------