horrible moment.....

in the end of year 004...
i was selected to be one of the member of B#$% C@#$% organisation...
if we join this,its mean we'll be hated by the students and..
our time to study also will limit coz a lot of works to do...
not the homeworks...
actually, i never ever wished to join this organization...
in my view..it's just burden myself coz a lot of responsible should i hold..
hehe...
i still remember one moment when i escaped from the general meeting(in 005)...
i gave a reason that i want to settle all the rugby jerseys..
i think, at that time..there was three of us..kulai,pian and me..if i'm not mistaken...
escaping a meeting is the worst thing if you join any organization without a valid reason..
how come u can leave the meeting just to settle the jerseys..it's the stupid thing that i'd done..
my fren came..munir..he said that the GPK1 wanted to see me..
at that time..my thinking was..
if i go, i'll die..coz i'll be tortured mentally and will feel ashame in front all my fren...
if i not go..perhaps, it will be good...
so i just stayed at the dobi room..
whatever they wanted to say,let it be.. i dont care...
i loved my rugby world..dont interfere my business...
hehehe...
after the meeting, i waited all my BC's frenz ....
when they backed, they said that our BC's teacher and the GPK1 were so mad with me...
argghhhh....
i turned my life into trouble...i just kept quite...
nobody of them tried to cheer me up...everybody just doing their work..
as they didn't see me....
i was so lonely...i lived in my own world.. i felt so ashamed,humiliated,annoyed and more...
i tried to do my routine daily happily...
but,there's no such thing...and when the report sent to my rugby's coach,
he also scolded me up...y i did a stupid thing???
i felt sad..i started to hate this BC again as my heart was just trying to cultivate sense of love to this organisation....i'd been through all this for the period of 2 months before i came back..
before i got the confidence....
two months??
it was too long...it was too long...
to foster the relationship again...
to focus on my work again...
to be myself again...
i took 2 months.....
to love this BC again.....
now....
it's still remain in my heart....
~proud to be~