...face up...

when i was child...i had no self confident at all...
but...my late father and mother always taught me to be more positive thinking and brave...
they sent me to join scout camp when i was 5 at melaka...
my father brought me together with him when he went into jungle at night...
my mother always brought me to go to her school and join learning together with her students...
i had a lot of fun with them...
n i learnt a lot from them...
but....
when they passed away...
my life started to go up and down...i couldn't focus at all in my studies at that time..
but..i was so grateful...my grandma took a very good care of me...
she gave me a lot of advices just to face this world...
since then...
i started to develop my own self confident...
i had my own strength....i had a very great determination...
i wanna be somebody one day....

but...not every single plan that we made will follow the order...
it's all depend on him..Allah SWT... we as human, just can try our best to plan and try...
he is the one who can give us our rezeki...
where are we heading to...
and what will happen to us next...

and when this unwanted thing happen to us...we start to lose our self confident...
self esteem...no more motivation...we just think that we better get off or die...
this is very hard to us to face...
because....we are human....we always want the best from him...
but sometime because of our "bad" behaviour or attitude...he may not give rezeki to us...
we should be grateful as long as Allah give us opportunity to breathe and alive...
if we are weak...
all that we can do is just cry...cry...cry and cry...
we will be very sad...upset...n face down...

and i believe that all of us also have our own problem...
problem that really make us feel very sad...
may be because of him...or her...
or studies..exam....our boss...or...laptop....
i also have my own....i really wanted to cry...but i can't...n i really feel sad..but i don't want to show...better i just keep it inside..coz i am this type of person....
even it bits me slowly....

i have answered 4 out of five my TEE final exam paper...
and i can't give any comment personally..coz there are still 4000 students answer the same questions...i just hope the best from my self...
but in the end..i think...still not best enough...

when i was in SDAR...my rugby coach, cikgu chot always gave me support...
n there was a moment when my rugby team was almost defeated...
at that emergency moment...what he said was...
"c'mon lions!!! we can win this game.believe in yourself..all of us can do it..find your SECOND WIND!!!!.. don't lose..we still have time...what do we want??? we always want to win right, lions?
so...blow your SECOND WIN!!! don't ever ever ever give up until the end..go guys...let's teach them!!"
it was very motivated..we played hard..we blow our SECOND WIND....our spirit....
and we managed to win and be the champion of the state...
i really want to go back to that moment...i missed it...

i also have a lot of friends...most of my friends really care about me...
n i was so grateful to be myself...they can spend their time n knowledge to help me out..
to give motivation when i was in trouble...they are amazing....
i got fareez, rifqi, chan, acap, fatihah, fatin adilah, faseeha, huda, iman, ah chong, 'aisyah, kinok, maro, iqbal, and more...i love all of them....
they make me feel happy...and make me smile...always...

my teacher and lecturers also always support me from behind...
they are kinda good people...

hope ALLAH will bless all of u guys...

life....hmmm....hard to say...
there are some of my friends feel very sad about their studies rite now...
n i try to help them by giving a good word to hear...by some story...
because i don't want to be sad too...
coz i know all of us here really want to fly....to aussie...
don't want to make our parent ashame...
we want to prove to them..but sometimes we also put pressure on our selves..
i always keep telling to my friends that....
we just try our best yeah..coz we don't know the future..just pray to Allah..
he's the only one who can help us...don't sad my friends..if today we don't catch any fish...
may be tomorrow we will get the big one...who knows?
so..just try yeah...it will come...insyaAllah...we try yeah...

hope all can get the result we want...huhu...
guys...face up yeah!!!...
face up!!!!