---now i know why---

last 2 weeks if i am not mistaken.
i sat my eald oral speaking test.
i was misunderstood actually.
what i thought was come 2o minutes from my speaking test schedule..
not 20 minutes with the whole group.
i got the evening session and i never asked the other guys about the time to enter the room.
and what i remembered was my speaking time was at 5 p.m.
so no need for me to rush to go there.
at that evening also, i was so stressed and tired. so at 2.55 p.m i decided to take a break and bought 100 plus.
suddenly, my friend afif messaged me to come to english preparation room at that time..
i thought he was playing prank on me.
i didn't care.. i wanted to drink my 100 plus first and then take a break for a while..
later, afif messaged me again..and seems like he was so serious with that matter..
he said if i come late i'll not get the question..
i was so shocked.. how come i should come so early???
ahhh!!! big probs....
i rushed to the preparation room...
i was so messy at that time and when i asked the invigilator about my question paper..
she said.." no paper and no question for u coz u are late"
arghh!!!.. i was so dissappointed at that time..
what should i do..i just watched my other friends answered and practiced their speaking whilst i just sat like a stupid person who don't know what is the question that i'll answer..
argh...for sure that was the worst oral i ever attended..
time was creeping slowly...
at last it was my time. the last person for that day..
i told my lecturer about my misunderstanding and hoped that she would understand me..
and the speaking test began..
i just answered all the question on the spot..
no depth thinking and no transition linker i think..
haha...
what makes me thinking about the oral until now is not about my lateness or the question i didn't get.
i want to focus on what miss chan asked about the first part of my speaking test..
about how do i cope my life here...
how about my studies and others..
i answered i am still trying to adapt with this new environment..
and my studies are quite bad due to certain extents such as the Internet, games, movies and more...
and i added.. the most important thing that i lose here are my best friends...
i do not have any best friends here like when i was studied in sdar..
i got so many best friends there not like here..
she asked me what about my other friends in my student house..
i told her that my friends now are just good friends..
they are good friends, not best friends..
these two words, good and best are totally different...
at that moment, i realised that this was my problem..
i do not have a friend that can share my problem like before..
how i am going to face life after this without support from my best friends...
huhu.. hope that i can survive...
i must survive...even i am quite lonely..
but, it's okay...
i should find back my confidence and be the old "fikri@bota" who were always happy and confident with his action...
i hope so....

now i know why......